After years of being told they were ‘too much’ and not fitting into society’s values, destined friends Dawn and Laura tell Chloe Rowe of their late ADHD diagnosis, their upcoming tour and how their podcast can help you
What would you do if you met someone living an almost identical life to yours? Become fast friends and make a widely popular ADHD podcast of course!
Seemingly destined friends Dawn and Laura moved only six doors away from each other during the pandemic and when they finally met at a neighbourhood barbecue, they discovered they had more in common than most.
They are the same age, have late-diagnosed ADHD (attention deficit hyperactivity disorder) and they have felt alienated their whole lives. These two women have taken their similarities, created a podcast and have become activists for people like them, creating a community for those who are disconnected.
“We moved 6 doors apart from each other during the pandemic. Once we were allowed to meet up outdoors, we had a barbecue. The first thing I said to Laura was ‘sorry if I talk a lot, I think I have ADHD’”, Dawn says.
“And I replied, ‘no way me too!’”, Laura adds.
Now, both women from Aberdeen are on their way to turning 40, and in just a few years since their diagnosis, they are on a mission.
With their podcast ADHD As Females and an upcoming tour across the UK, Dawn Marie-Farmer and Laura Mears-Reynolds are opening up important discussions around mental health and trying to make the road to getting an ADHD diagnosis simpler.
ADHD is presented differently in everybody, and with women being diagnosed typically later than men or often being mis-diagnosed, it makes sense why both Dawn and Laura were diagnosed much later in their life with Dawn getting a diagnosis at the age of 39 and Laura at the age of 38.
“We both faced very lengthy NHS waits,” Laura says. “Mine started in 2018 and felt never-ending so I decided to go private at the end of 2021 and got my diagnosis in January 2022.”
“I was put on the NHS waiting list in May 2021 and it was a total ordeal, so I had to go private in December 2022,” Dawn says.
Going private finally allowed them to get recognition for what they had been feeling and struggling with for all their lives and allowed them to access the medication that they felt helped with their symptoms.
“Pre diagnosis I wasn’t myself, I just performed a version of myself that I thought others wanted me to be to avoid rejection. Now I’ve taken off the many masks and live as my authentic self without the need of validation from others,” Dawn says.
Laura’s pre diagnosis days were similar to Dawn’s.
“I felt like a complete alien and a failure. I just didn’t fit into society, and it caused me to drown in shame and self-loathing. I was unable to move forward, entirely stuck. Now I just crack on! I don’t let self-doubt and perfectionism hold me back. I’m acutely aware of how many years undiagnosed ADHD held me back. There’s nothing stopping me now, and I’ve got a lot of lost time to make up,” Laura says.
Both Dawn and Laura spent most of their lives not truly understanding the way they were and feeling misunderstood by others, they were alone at a time when they needed the most support.
But with the popularity of social media such as Instagram and Tik Tok, finding people who are like you is easier than ever.
It is this access to thousands of people’s content that disorders such as ADHD and people’s experiences of it are being shared more than ever, and more and more people are finding out that they relate to it.
Through this relatability, many people are diagnosing themselves and finding communities where they feel represented and can be themselves, but is this self-diagnosis a problem?
“Obviously if the videos contain misinformation that could be dangerous and that’s not ok. But most people we speak to found out they related to the condition via Tik Tok and then did their own research and sought medical diagnosis. It’s an accessible tool delivering bitesize snippets, and this has done a lot of good,” Laura says.
Through the social media buzz surrounding ADHD, Dawn and Laura wanted to break through the noise and become the support system that they didn’t have growing up.
“In the midst of getting diagnosed we started listening to The ADHD Adults podcast and Dawn said we should make our own”, Laura says.
“There are loads of great ADHD podcasts out there but none that really felt like us and our experience, so we decided to give it a go,” Dawn adds, “we never expected the response we’ve had. It’s become our purpose and has entirely transformed our lives.”
With intense preparation of scripts, long studio hours and a short cheery jingle for their introduction, their podcast success has been far reaching with half a million downloads in 182 countries in only 11 months.
And though titled ADHD As Females, this podcast is not for girls only.
“ADHDAF is for everybody!” Laura says. “It’s our experience of late diagnosed ADHD as AFAB (assigned female at birth) people but it’s gender inclusive, no diagnosis necessary. We invite guests on from all different walks of life to give perspectives outside of our own and gain knowledge as we are new to all this too.”
But this podcast is not the end of Dawn and Laura’s venture into understanding ADHD and being a voice for others. They are both activists, networking with people to try and change the system to protect those with disabilities.
“We are activists. We do a lot to empower ADHD’ers to use their voices to make change happen. We have activism episodes with disability campaigner Cat Owens too,” Laura says.
“We also formed the Anti ADHD Ableist Media Coalition to fight the dangerous press articles so that groups such as disabled people can be protected rather than individuals,” Dawn says.
Their most upcoming activist work is their ‘Too Much’ tour, aptly named to represent how they have been perceived most of their lives with their undiagnosed ADHD.
There are 15 shows spanning across the UK beginning in Scotland on April 26 and ending in Norwich on May 12.
“We are also touring the UK from the end of next month to bring the community together,” Dawn says, “our first event in Aberdeen saw individuals who previously had no other ADHD friends create support networks and one even started a neurodivergent choir from the event. We are connecting and uniting people with ADHD.”
If you need support from a community that welcomes all, follow ADHD as Female’s Instagram @adhdasfemales and listen to their podcast ADHD As Females available on all streaming platforms and for more information of their tour go to: www.adhdasfemales.com/tour.
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